Problem: Giant ants make everything, uh, scarier? These guys are crawling around the Atlanta airport.
Solution: Get a grappling hook, and wing it up to the nearest ant. Upon successful grappling, yank and remove. Repeat until arrested.
Problem: This modern art named “54 Columns” looks like a monument to the housing slump. Known locally as “Ghetto Stonehenge,” it’s a pretty heavy duty eyesore near downtown Atlanta.
Solution: Build a 20 foot concrete bowling ball. Gather up 100 of your best friends and roll 20 foot bowling ball as fast as you can. 1 point for each column knocked over.
Problem: This kids blank gaze and hollow eyes are sure to cause nightmares. His pet cat also comes to life at night and terrorizes the neighborhood with scary screeching wails.
Solution: Talk to your neighbor with the pickup truck. Sure you barely know him, but he’ll let you borrow it anyway. Tie rope around statue, tie other end to trailer hitch. Lock it in to 4 wheel and hit the gas.